Hi my name is Emily. I'd like to say I'm mature, but I'm really a child at heart. I'm working to make my life full of love, happiness, and adventure! I'm still trying to figure it all out though.Ask me anything Submit
At job number 1, I am now working for the HR department. There is this one girl whom I work with that is my age. She is the HR assistant. Assistant. We don’t talk much, but she is generally friendly when we engage in conversation, or when she asks me to do something; the HR ladies in general are so kind to me when they ask me to do things. I am an intern so I expect, “Do this and come back and give me the copies. I want it by three.” And in all honesty, this isn’t rude or mean, it just not as kind or encouraging as, “Would you mind” or “Could you please”. (This is the “female” voice, I am aware, but I shan’t delve into sociolinguistics now.)
I digress, but my point is yes, these HR ladies are so sweet. And the girl my age is acts similarly. However, when I do something wrong, ask a question, or a mistake is (kindly) pointed out to me by the VP of HR or Payroll Exec, the girl gawks at me. She just stares at me, like a deer in headlights. Sometimes I can see micro-expressions of worry, smugness, and even disdain, but mostly it’s just a blank stare. While it upsets me more when she looks at me disapprovingly, even the blank stares make me uncomfortable. I feel like I have to be perfect in my tasks and include no errors. Otherwise, I’m just stupid, or lazy, or what have you.
I….know I should be overwhelmed with joy because I officially am going to grad school (with a few choices, even!), but I am just stressed. (With BOTH my jobs; it’s getting daunting). This job doesn’t really matter in the long run, but the experiences do. I’m sure this will happen in any office, clinic, etc…and I’m absolutely terrified at the notion.
I’m not cut out for adulthood. Damn.